How can it be that a shift in how we see ourselves and what we are here to achieve can have a much greater  impact on our leadership skills that many training courses and leadership seminars we attend or books we read.

As you may recall from reading my blogs that every so often we have forum participants share  the impact their peer coaches are having on them and the business and the lessons they have learned from the supportive feedback they receive at each session.

Shelia, obviously not her real name gave a brief update on how her approach to life and her leadership role has changed over the previous two years. She started by saying ‘I have got over myself’ and went on to explain that this meant stopping second guessing herself and believing that it was her behaviours and skills or lack of them that were the source of any problems she encountered in her role and life in general. She said she now sees herself as not the centre of the universe and everything does not have to revolve around her.

This allow her step back more and see a bigger picture with regard to her life and that work does not have to define who she is or be her main goal. Her philosophy now is to live in the moment but not be too emotionally attached on any particular problem or success. As issues and challenges arise, she thinks ‘this too will pass’ as every previous large and small issue in her life have now either being stored away in her memory bank or consigned to the trash can.

Translating philosophy into leadership competencies

While her peers were very interested in her feedback and had been noticing a more relaxed and confident leader, they were nevertheless intrigued as to how this shift was translating into how she did her job and more importantly the effects on her role and business.

The following is a short summary of their in-depth questions and her considered replies

• She now feels more self- reliant and has a greater ability to self-correct in the moment. She also  feels more confident and competent giving feedback that is both constructive, supportive, and encourages and challenges others to become the best they can be.
• Being more relaxed and under less pressure has allowed her become a better listener. This allows her slow down and connect with others where they are at. She is less inclined to go for a quick fix solution unless the situation warrants it. Practicing asking open questions combined with active listening she has noticed leads to others tapping into their own innate wisdom which fosters the development of their leadership skills.
• She said she has noticed her team members are becoming better leaders. She puts this down to her moving from away taking responsibility for outcomes at meetings, to facilitating others tap into both their individual and collective wisdom. This has created a bond and a synergy that leads to greater motivation and commitment to the teams’ vision and goals.
• Insisting on boundaries, without feeling guilty, with others who previously manipulated her pleasing and helpful approach, has enabled her become more relaxed. Previously when she allowed some people manipulate her, she then got annoyed and frustrated with both herself and the other person. While she still has her moments and sees this as a journey, she is encouraged enough to keep fine tuning her responses
• Giving others the emotional support to stretch themselves as well as challenging any habitual tendencies to stay in their comfort zone has led to her team members having the courage to try things they previously wouldn’t have thought possible.
• Moving to a  more coaching and facilitating style she believes is leading to greater involvement, engagement and empowerment. This for her is  fostering a culture that enriches each employees work experience. She believes this supports the mental health and wellbeing of all employees.
• Building trust through engagement. She believes this is the reason the company is now attracting and retaining better employees which has let to improved sales and margins despite the difficulties in the market place recruiting good staff.

Finally, she said that she knows that her life is a journey that will continue to bring challenges but the more she gets out of her own way and trusts the process of life the more she is surprised that things seem to work out better than when she was always trying to figure out how to be more in control.

As you reflect on your own life to-date, what major shifts have you made about the big picture of your life and your current leadership role. And how is this influencing how you leads others around you?