Over the years I’ve learned that visualising success and wealth isn’t enough. You have to snap out of the fantastic future and be very present to the needs of your business today.

When I set up my own company and became self-employed, I went on a training course about the psychology of success. I loved what it promised: if I set big goals and believed in myself, the world would be my oyster. I dreamed of and visualised myself becoming a millionaire within the next five years. That was back in 1993. Needless to say, the million has eluded me (up to now), and yet I can say with my hand on my heart that I feel like a millionaire. How is that possible? you might ask.

I went through lots of difficult days. The main theme of my critical self-reflection was why my efforts were not yielding greater business success and personal peace of mind. I’d attended the seminars and training programmes and I’d read the books after all. For years I felt there was something inherently flawed about me as a business owner, leader and human being because I could not implement what I’d learned.

This topic of success, or more precisely, the struggles to achieve it, has come up in our peer-to-peer forums a number of times. I now realise I am not the only one who has a desire to achieve something significant in life and experiences frustration when it doesn’t seem to happen in the way I have visualised it. It is part of the human condition and drives many leaders on a journey of self-discovery.

Let go of the idea that it’s going to happen just because you visualise it

Since learning that I am not alone, I have found a new way to look at things. I realise I have now reached a level of business and personal success where I am no longer frustrated with, or focused on, what I don’t have in my life. I also began to realise that in many ways I now feel like a millionaire in that I have a sense of financial freedom that comes from having a valuable service to offer to clients. Of course, I am continuing to fine-tune that skill. But more importantly, I am much more relaxed and at peace with myself and the world around me.

Don’t get me wrong. Seeing yourself in your own mind’s eye as a success is important. It’s just not enough. In many ways, visualisation on its own only added to my anxiety and frustration with my lack of progress. It has given my inner critic lots of extra ammunition to attack me with over the years.

I have realised that it is trusting that things would work out if I lived in the moment and focussed on my clients that made the difference.

I came to realise that when I am too focused on my goals (the future) it prevents me from appreciating the great gifts I have (the now), and it prevents me from being truly present to what is engaging me in every moment.  I have come to appreciate that the more I focus on being truly present and of service to my clients the better they and I do in our respective businesses.

While the journey was very frustrating and I despaired at times, I realise the experiences I had have brought me the gifts I now appreciate more every day. This has enabled me to reflect on and better understand the wisdom I have gained. I am able to see what is working best so I can continue to enjoy it more.

Finally, I now appreciate that the essence of this approach is trust. Trusting to let go of the need to control life and going more with the flow. However, this does not mean allowing things to happen and just passively accepting everything. I still believe we need to actively participate in life, that there is a dynamic tension between knowing that what is for you won’t pass you by, while equally going out to make things happen. I am now trying to become more aware of pushing the boat out while also going with the flow.

What lessons have you learned from your experiences and how might you continue to reflect on how much better off you are as a leader and human being?