One of the common threads I get from leaders when they review their leadership or business progress is that they’ve overcome what looked like an insurmountable challenge. The worse the challenge the greater the benefits, it seems.

You might have heard me say before that a problem is often a gift in disguise. This is something I’ve experienced. In my own life, all the big setbacks that at the time were potentially disastrous turned out to be blessings in disguise.

My first big fall from grace

In 1992, I was made ‘redundant’ as the MD of a group of manufacturing companies after a boardroom dispute. At 42 years of age with teenage daughters to educate, I was knocked for six. Up to that point my professional and personal life had always progressed on an upward curve. This was like falling off the proverbial cliff. The industry was in decline, so it proved almost impossible to get a positon similar to what I had come to appreciate. So I set up a training and development company by taking on a franchise. This became the start of my current business. I’m not sure I would have taken this step without the ‘disaster’ of the redundancy, something I am now so glad happened. Yet at the time it felt emotionally, psychologically and financially catastrophic.

Another big leap into the unknown

In 2012, three years into the recession, my business virtually collapsed. Having used up most of my accumulated resources, I was back to square one. For the next three years I struggled to even survive not to mind getting back to any kind of normality. However, this forced me to do much introspection the result of which was the birth of my current business. Up to then, peer to peer coaching was approximately 5% of my business and was not going anywhere. Now it accounts for over 95% and is still growing.

A life or death challenge

Last year I suffered a health setback with my heart just before we went into lock down (which I subsequently wrote about). Now that my health has returned to normal, I have slowed down and am achieving much more every day while working fewer hours. Realising how precious life is has left me much more relaxed and at ease. I now just live for the moment and forget about the past and future.

Then along came Covid

I’ve always considered being physically present in a room with my peer to peer groups as absolutely essential to the process. When the coronavirus came along and getting groups together in a hotel was a forlorn hope, I faced yet another existential moment for Essence of Leadership. But we moved online and I am enjoying the virtual meetings just as much as the face-to-face sessions in hotels. We no longer have to travel, and the participants are getting as much and more from the half-day online sessions as they did from the full-day sessions. While I have worked from home for over 25 years as far as admin and marketing is concerned, I would not have considered it possible to facilitate my sessions online.

The greatest long-term benefit of these major challenges is that now, when something does not work out as I planned or anticipated, I immediately ask myself what great gift is behind this message? How has my Universe organised this for me to grow and develop?

There is also the enjoyment I get from what I now do. This is better than the financial benefit. It is what is termed intrinsic motivation – doing something that you absolutely enjoy and do not even class as work. I now look forward to getting up and going to work like I have never done at any time in my life.’

I know I am not the only one to have come to this conclusion that adversity has the potential to build leadership skills and indeed improve lives. The following are just some examples from clients of how difficulties turned out to be blessings in disguise:

A serious difference of opinion with a business partner

“Tackling a difference of views on the company’s future direction with a business partner which had been a continuous source of tension has led to a shared vision between us for the first time in the history of the company.”

Replacing the irreplaceable person

“As a result of having to replace my most important manager who retired, I had to spend time putting in place new processes and systems to help a less experienced manager. This has taught me to not rely on the accumulated experience of one individual but have systems and a more balanced team approach. I dreaded having to replace this person, but it has taught me that all problems are surmountable, and it has provided the opportunities to progress the company in a way I would have found it difficult to create.”

Dealing with a disruptive employee

“Having had to sort out a very toxic environment due to disruption by a key long-serving employee has led me to be less concerned about tackling other difficult situations. As a result, I have become tougher and more assertive putting in place people and systems that in the past I would have put off. This means I am now more strategic and, paradoxically, find it easier to involve others with decision making. The culture has become more productive and relaxed and it’s made my life a lot easier.”

Frustration at lack of buy in

“The frustration of not getting all team members to buy into the culture I had been advocating has forced me to have the more difficult conversations. The journey has pushed me to adopt a more conversational approach and involve people (or challenge them to get involved) in developing their solutions. It has also challenged me to stand back more, be less involved and then trust the process to work out. As a result I now have more time to work on strategy and go after the opportunities the lockdown is creating.”

My impatience as a leader causing conflict

“As a result of reflecting on the conflicts my impatience created for me with business partners and senior managers, I have become more reflective and patient. I have become better at reading situations and this has dramatically improved the culture. I have not given up my drive or my belief in grabbing opportunities but I now pause and use that zealous approach more judiciously.”

So what ‘disasters’ have you had to overcome to help you evolve into the leader you are and what challenge are you currently facing that might propel you to do something you might not otherwise consider?