Because I never considered myself a smart or intelligent person, I tried to compensate by always being busy and switched on. I lived by the mantra of earning your bread by the sweat of your brow. Because of this, I rarely switched off, even when taking time out for me or the family. Notwithstanding the downsides, my strategy of hard work and commitment got me a leading management role in my early 30s. I continued pushing myself to work hard, to always be busy, working extra hours to ensure everything was organised, and setting higher goals.

However, the industry I worked in migrated to a low-cost economy in the early 1990s. I became a self-employed trainer, coach and facilitator and continued to apply the same approach to making a living. While I was succeeding at earning a living, I was also killing myself with hard work and worry. I knew something wasn’t working but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

A wise shaman

Then fate lent a helping hand. A very wise lady, after listening to my story, said, ‘Kevin, stop trying so hard and over-thinking your situation. Trust that your intuition knows what you need’. Her words struck a deep chord with me. My habits, however, were ingrained.

Over a number of years, through trial and error, I discovered the true meaning of her words as a peer-to-peer coach. When I’m facilitating a session and I manage to get out of my head, relax and trust the wisdom of the group, the answers generally appear for those in the room. I believe that your state of mind has a big impact on you and those around you; they sense your trust or lack of it and react accordingly. I now use my intuition – my deepest feelings – to enable others to tap into their own intuitive wisdom.

A different type of hard work

Looking back on my career in management, I can see that I missed out on more intuitive solutions simply because I pushed myself to be in a state of constant busyness. It now takes a different type of hard work. The hard work now is to not try so hard or force things towards a result. What I once clung to is now what I try to avoid.

The feedback I get from the members of the peer-to-peer coaching groups I facilitate, who are themselves business leaders, is that as each of them learns to relax and trust their intuition with their management teams, they also get much better results. One client reported what he termed a ‘transformation’ within his team. He reported that when he relaxes and is totally present to what is happening, creative solutions come to the surface. Rather than developing standard solutions, the team now comes up with more holistic and intuitive approaches to many of their previously entrenched cultural issues. This, he believes, is because he now allocates the space and time to go deeper rather than pushing for a quicker solution.

Don’t throw out the baby

At the same time, I haven’t thrown out the baby with the bathwater. I know I still need to show up and do the meeting or make the call or send the email. In a peer-to-peer forum, I may need to step in and make an intervention that can change the direction of our discussions for the benefit of all stakeholders, but this is now done with more awareness and in agreement with those in the room. But I also know you can’t just make things happen by force of will, especially when it comes to leadership and bringing people with you. For me now, it is about being more aware of when I need to slow down and connect with the deeper wisdom within and with those I interact with; that’s when the magic happens.

What wisdom have you gained in your leadership journey that you can now apply to make life easier and more productive for those you are responsible for leading?